The Legend of the Ramberg Goulash
All Rambergs make Goulash, some add peas or corn or bake it, hence our ability to track down and bring to light the decoys and put to ruin their mock-Goulashes. This is how you make real Goulash:
The Bell Pepper is for adding class, don't forget to take it out before you serve the Goulash.
1 part ground beef
1 part tomatoes, peeled, pasted, diced
1 part LARGE elbow macaronni
varying amounts of: garlic, onion, cheddar, tarragon, rosemary, oregano, crushed red pepper, salt, pepper, sugar, large green bell pepper
By-the-By all the images I have uploaded are incorrectly oriented as to add a sense of mystery, it’s no accident.
To begin, start by mixing all your tomato product into a pot, it doesn’t really matter what kind of tomatoes you start with as long as they’re skinned. Once you have all of it in your pot, look at it, is it really sloppy wet? The sauce needs to end up as more of a binding agent for the meat and the noodle and not so much as a runny “red sauce.” If it’s real wet you can start reducing it now. You’ll want to add the garlic, onion, rosemary, oregano, crushed red pepper, salt and pepper now. Also be sure to add SUGAR, if you add only one thing to this sauce add sugar! The sugar will cut the acidity of the tomatoes, you don’t have to add a ton, just add to taste.
If you've used fatty fatty beef, pour some of the fat from the pan out, if you got like 90+ lean beef, throw that 10% of pure unadulterated good right in with the sauce.
Once your sauce is set up start boiling some water for the noodles, in a separate pot, make sure you use hot water, because cold water is for drinking you goofballs. You should also start preparing the ground beef at this point. The trick with the beef is that you NEED TARRAGON, also salt and pepper that ground beef, and brown it. After the beef is browned throw it into your sauce that is reducing.
Mm Ramberg Mush
Once the noodles are basically done, and have a little bit of bite to them, let them finish cooking with your reducing sauce. At this point you may be saying: “oh Jake, how do I know when my Goulash is done?” and I would say to you: “when it looks like noodles in a ground-up corpse, it’s ready.” (Compare it to my picture here.) Then to top it off – add sharp cheddar cheese. If you made it successfully it should be able to stand up on it’s own with the amazing tomato pasty sauce you made. Now you can make Goulash like any self-respecting Ramberg!
I shall try it.